A real man!

What I’m about to say in this post, is something I noticed in my best friend a long time ago. While I was bored out of my mind yesterday, I thought I’d like to have in writing this string of ideas… and who knows, maybe it’ll help someone

I think women are always searching for a good man. Usually we don’t want guys who ignore us, who drink them self to sleep (even if in a pub), who are embarrassing, rude, or womanizing. But where could we find someone nice, caring… a real man?

Good men come in all shapes, sizes and colors, and one of the most outstanding features he’ll have, is that a real man is one of the few who know how to keep to themselves. Don’t get me wrong, we all have different personalities, and nobody is perfect, but he’s at least close to it, unlike many guys out there.
If asked, why he doesn’t have a girlfriend, he’ll say: I haven’t found the right girl yet. A good man isn’t about to waste his time and energy on just any woman he can pick up in any bar, at the movies, etc. he’s looking for the right woman. That’s why you will not see him around with a different girl every other weekend. That’s too tacky for him.
And when he has one, he displays proudly of his girlfriend, tries to understand her in any circumstance, treats her right, opens/holds doors for her, lets her cut his way, buys her presents and stuff she’d like even without reason, etc.
He’s usually alone or with family, if he’s with friends generally it’s only one maybe sometimes two. People love him because he’s nice, caring, polite, helpful, genuine and he’s not flashy.
He is very seldom rude and rarely gets angry and even if he does, you would not necessarily know it because he controls it well.
You’ve probably known him for years, a best guy friend, a neighbour, a class/workmate who you’ve worked beside for a long time.
Because he makes you feel so comfortable you tell him everything and when you talk to him he looks straight into your eyes and actually listens to what you have to say, he gives you a little feedback but very seldom tells you what you should do.
He never pretends, doesn’t gossip and wouldn’t dream of telling your personal secrets.

In my opinion, all you girls/women out there shouldn’t choose to continue seeking love from guys who want nothing more than to use you, you should take a closer look at the guy who has always been there for you even though you’ve not always been there for him.
Think about it. Would you like the perception of happiness or true happiness? It’s your choice, I hope you make the right one.

And now, let me tell you what happened with my best friend:
We’ve known each other since 2003 A guy just like I described, a guy who was more interested in walking me home from school, talking to me in between classes and all our spare time (from after school to late at night) on the internet, than trying to feel me up. I felt safe with him then and still do.
I knew he’s really what I’d like a boyfriend to be like and I’ve even thought about what it would be like to date him. But then I came up with that same old lame excuse women have used for decades to avoid happiness: ”I’m afraid to date him because if it doesn’t work out it might ruin our friendship.” That’s a cop-out and I knew it, I was just afraid… I’m only human too…
Here’s a guy who I know is nice, treats me great, knows everything about me (even my secrets) and still likes me…
What more could I ask for? What did I tell my friends about this guy? “Oh, (yes, I am attracted to him, but) he’s my best friend!”
And then it hit me! One of the most valuable components of a successful relationship is that your mate is your best friend! What’s really great about this is that I actually created this perfect situation over time and didn’t even know it.

I’m lucky to say, that after I realized this, and he realized the same about me… we had our ups and downs, but we’re a couple for almost 3 years now, we’re still best friends too and I dare to say: we get along much better than most couples. :* And hopefully, we will get around to have a wonderful life together, and everything works out the way we’re planning now.

The best (pet) friends!

From insects to alpacas, pets come in all shapes and sizes. Many families feel that they are not complete without some little (or large) creature to love.
This is how i feel too!
I have always been partial to pets over humans when it comes to friendship. I have been burned so many times after being the kindest, most caring person I could be, that I find serenity in my relationships with pets! The possibility of them turning on you is much lower than that of a human, and they never judge you
Ok, it’s not like I don’t have good friends, it’s just that I try to avoid as much as possible people (who I know of) who don’t like animals, because… I can’t trust them.
How can anyone trust someone who can’t love unconditionally? Unconditional love is the only kind of love you can feel towards your pet, and in my opinion, that’s how it should be in human relationships too, even if not 100%, but as much as possible (so about 90%)

And now, let me tell you a little bit about my pets: I have 2 cats (Mili and Onyx), and a bunny (Tapsi). Also, I’ll throw in a few advices you may find useful.

The sweetest little furballs

Cats make wonderful companions for children and adults alike. They are by nature curious creatures, independent and like to go where and when they please. Ever heard of this saying: “Dogs come when they’re called, but cats tell you to take a message and get back to you later”. Ask any cat lover and they’ll tell you how true this statement is. I’m sure most of you already know all about cats, so I won’t bore you too much, here are just a few tips.

Before you think of purchasing or adopting a kitten, it’s very important to look at all aspects of owning one as a pet. You should be prepared to care for him for his basic needs, that is food, shelter, annual check ups, vaccinations and most important of all, your time spent in building that special bond with him.
I don’t always get to spend as much time as I’d like with my cats, but they are great. We have overcome a lot, and even if a few times we had some accidents that needed surgery and had to spend more than we had on them, it’s worth the effort, cause seeing them get well and their affection is most rewarding!

All creatures have their endearing and not so easy to deal with qualities. Before bringing any pets into your home it is vital that you do the research and consider if that particular creature is a good fit for you and your family. So if you don’t want a pet that leaves the house, maintained easy, or you wish for an animal who is more or less noiseless, you could opt for a bunny. I’ll elaborate on this one, cause not too many people have house rabbits as a pet

House rabbits are very quiet animals to share your life with. Aside from a gentle clicking of the teeth when happy or a low grunt when irritated, rabbits are virtually noiseless pets (this may depend on the cage and toys you provide them with). There are a variety of bunny body language signals that house rabbits use to let you know how they are doing and even what they want. If you want more details, click here.
When treated with respect and care, most house rabbits show their love in clear ways. A happy bunny will give you soft licks akin to kisses, run around your feet and follow you, pull your pants a bit if they want attention, bite gently on your slippers, etc. They will also indicate if they are angry or feel threatened. Of course, each house rabbit’s personality is different, so everyone finds out on their own bunny these things.
Be sure to research breed temperament tendencies and if possible, spend time with the rabbit before adoption. Once home, a close bond can be encouraged between family members and the bunny by providing plenty of social time. Rabbits need at least 2-3 hours a day out of their cages or pens and they tend to like to be around others, especially during those peak activity times of day.
Rabbits are vegetarians and can easily share the abundance of your garden or purchased produce. There are many diet choices you can make for your bunny rabbit. However, it is vital that you feed him/her mainly fresh hays and green vegetables. And they are odorless if you use kittie-litter instead of saw dust, cause it’s a very good absorbent and it comes in lots of different frangances too. You can even recycle while playing with them, like providing your bunny with cardboard tubes as toys
Contrary to what you might think, with careful training and gradual introductions, your house rabbit can coexist peacefully with other pets. In most cases, other pets can be trained to treat your bunny with respect and they may even become buddies! For example, Tapsi doesn’t even care that much about our cats, but the cats are mostly afraid of her if she tries to approach them… so this is the peaceful coexisting part, they don’t bother each other
Another reason why house rabbits are so unique is how playful and personable they can be. Especially during their most active hours (early morning and early evening) so don’t be surprised to find a happy bunny racing and leaping about your home providing just about the best entertainment a pet can offer!
Providing proper care can be a lot of work and deciding to adopt a house rabbit in the first place should never be taken lightly.
I sometimes wonder if I made the right choice, but one ticklish lick from my nose-twitching lagomorph Tapsi, and I know, that a bunny may just be one of the best pets I’ve ever shared my life with!

So if you really think about it, pets, no matter what species, can be great friends and comfort us no matter where we are on our journey of life!

New Year’s Eve: just 4 US :)

It’s not even December yet… hack, it wasn’t even November yet eighter when I was first asked this year of what I’ll be doing, where I’m going, and who with, on New Year’s Eve. The answer was: well nothing much…

I don’t know where people’s obsession with going away comes from, or the urge to go and party with total strangers, drink so much that the following day they can’t even remember where they are and who with… Like a friend of mine said, nowadays it’s not important that people don’t even have enough money to do these things, they borrow, steal, sell a kidney just to be able to copy what everyone else is doing. And in my opinion… it’s kind of sad, isn’t it?
Also another person said that he can’t understand people who stay at home instead of partying, and that everyone should go somewhere so when they have kids, they can tell them that they lived life 100% and not that: “Well my child, I stayed at home and felt sorry for myself…”
Honestly I can’t understand people who think like this. Why do they think that just because someone doesn’t have the means to go away or go party, they stay at home and feel sorry for them self?

It’s not like I don’t wish I could go on a few days trip with my Sweetheart and spend New year’s Eve in a cozy cabana somewhere, with a lot of snow around, and great sights… It’s just that for now, it’s not possible.
But even if it was, and when it will be… we’d probably go alone, just the two of us!

My Sweetheart and I stayed at home for the last few years, we spent a very nice time together, and had more fun than we could’ve had in any other place. It’s our decision, and this is how we like it.
And basically, at least on New Year’s Eve, we can be together with no interruptions, no families that need us around just for the fun of it, no one to come home in the middle of the night and start shouting, etc.
We can cuddle up and just talk about anything… what we’d like to achieve the following year, make resolutions, talk about our goals, our dreams, all the things we will be able to do, and those we’re not sure about yet… Not that we couldn’t do this another time, but it is in fact the beginning of a new year.

To us, it’s a very special night, and it only comes once a year. A night when we can leave all our worries behind and just look ahead, even if it’s just for that one night.
It’s a holiday, but we don’t get material presents on it, it’s the beginning of something new and exciting, a new and fresh start, or simply just the continuance of your old life, with a great new feel to it.

It’s one of my favorite nights besides Christmas

Happiness… what?

“To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others; to leave the world a little better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is the meaning of success.” Ralph Waldo Emerson

For some, this is the meaning of success. But what about the meaning of happiness? When is one really happy, when is it that we don’t need anything else, when can we say: now I’m happy, I can stay this way? Happiness is the undying quest of life, what we all seek for, what we long for. But can such bliss be nothing but an elusive state of mind, which is here one moment and gone the next, or is such a positive outlook attainable for a lifetime?
All of us, consciously or unconsciously, are motivated in all we do by our need for happiness. We chase love, money, health, growth, fame, power, property and relationships, not always just for their own sake but for the satisfaction they promise.

Most of us will acknowledge that we don’t always feel happy. Oh, yes, winning that merit scholarship, living in a nice house, buying a car or losing weight feels great for a while. But we find that our friends are jealous, or that the promotion means longer working hours or that the car guzzles petrol, and that our lives haven’t been transformed by living in that house we always wanted. We are weighed down by a sense of lack. No matter how well life turns out, nothing seems quite enough. Others seem to have more, or desires keep arising. If nothing else, we fear for the future. What if something was to happen to our loved ones or to us?

Many of us are content to accept this mixed bag of happiness and sorrow as the human lot. Within this framework we attempt to maximize our joys and minimize our woes. We excel in whatever skills we have, spend less than we make, save for a house, get pets, take care of our health, get our children married and keep money aside for old age. At the end of our lives, we believe that we have lived to the best of our capacity. But for a few, this unpredictable, fleeting happiness is not enough. They dare to ask if a permanent and absolute happiness is not possible. A happiness they can trust…

I can see that I didn’t answered my own question about what happiness is, but I don’t think I can answer something I don’t really understand myself… It’s different for everyone, so I can’t say there is only one definition for it. Perhaps happiness is.

It just IS… Nothing more, nothing less…

Worth it? …

They say a good man is worth being loved. But than why do people all the time fall for wrong men and women? Moral qualities of a person of course mean a lot, but when we love one we usually can’t define and give a name to that something special in that person that makes us feel this way.

Love is an irrational feeling, we can never predict who will be the next and moreover say if her or she will be finally be worth it. Everything would be very nice and simple if we could count all the minuses and the pluses than compare the results and in case there are more minuses say “no, I’m not interested”. We all like and in the end love the people who differ, who are personalities, who have that sparkle in them. And it’s sad, but good people are sometimes very dull and boring in communication exactly because they do everything right, they never cross any lines.

If you want people, both men and women, to love you – start training your skills in communication. Be pleasant, nice, easy-going, but not too obstructive, learn to be a good listener, because both women and men would prefer speaking of themselves than listening about all your nice features and talents. Work on your sense of humor, being slightly ironical is always very attractive. Try to get rid of the stereotypes and to be democratical in your points of view.

Don’t judge too strictly the defaults and weak points of other people – remember you have your ones. If you really want to attract a person and maybe even try to make him or her fall in love – you shouldn’t criticize your object even if you know that the person is very tolerant to critics. Compliments will do better. Be attentive and helpful. Be good or try to act nice when you’re out to dinner or wherever. Never tell all at once about yourself. Be a little bit mysterious but not too mystificating. And look after yourself because first we see an appearance and only than personality.

There are some tricks that may help attract the interest of your object. Some say that every man and every woman has his/her vision of an ideal partner, so you just have to find out what it is and act in order to correspond to it. For example a business lady would appeal to an ambitious and successful man, a home man needs a child-woman to care about, a bored man searching for new experience would like a lively girl with a good sense of humor and etc.

More universal variants of behavior is to be different, to leave your object each time a little bit surprised, one day to look in the eyes and the other to ignore. This simple trick works but mostly to increase interest which already exists. In case when one doesn’t define you from the environment sometimes it’s better to give it before it gets any deeper.
Playing games even an actor by nature can’t do it forever, so one day the real you will show up and that may be a great surprise for the person that is in love that another you. So staying yourself in any situation is the most reliable way to be. Remember that worth being loved is only that person that loves him/herself. People care about people who care about them self. And the most wrong thing one can do is to convince him/herself that he/she is not worth anyone’s love. To attract people you  have to be shining, optimistic and which is very important –> self-confident.

And when you find someone who is worth it… don’t ever let them go

Stressful days…

It could be stretched out to the past few weeks, but especially these past few days, I haven’t been that easy to be around… I admit it, and I’m sorry if I’ve upset anyone, believe me, it was unintentionally, I really am sorry! But in my defense: I have a looot on my mind, a lot of problems, and making a list of them isn’t even worth it, they won’t change… I have to think about everything all the time, even the things I don’t want to think about, they’re right there on my list of worries as well unfortunately, and I can’t seem to lose them…

Somewhere along the way from childhood and being a teenager (not that it was perfect, but at least other people worried for me), to adulthood, I got swept up in pessimism… and I really feel sad because of this. As some may say, adulthood is the real test of life, to experience the world from a first-person standpoint instead of through the parents. Well I got to experience so much of the bad things that can happen to someone, that most people are amazed I survived them all. Honestly, even I am amazed… I’m usually not that keen on showing my feelings to everyone, I’m not that open to just anyone, and even with my closest friends and family I always try to at least force a smile on my face, see the good part of things… I am trying sooo hard to be optimistic, especially for my own sake, and most of the time I can pull it off, but then something happens and only my pessimistic side can respond to it, like all the optimism never even existed. And I don’t know what to do about it any more, because to me, it seems like the more I try to work something out, the worse it all gets because usually when I let myself think that finally everything is gonna be ok… guess what? Yes, something else goes wrong… it’s like a never ending circle of disappointments… it just goes on, and on, and on, and on… will it ever stop? In my lifetime I mean…

I wish I could go on a trip to visit my friend in Hungary, to spend a few days with her, relax, have our girl talks, go sight seeing, etc. or on a trip with my Sweetheart, and just have that great feeling that while I’m gone everything is taken care of, I can do pretty much what I’d like, go where I want to if I want to, and that I don’t have to worry about anything cause I know that all my worries are put aside, even if it’s only for a few days. I’m realistic, so I know that they will all be there when I get back anyway… but meanwhile: I would just like a few worry-free days!!!

So once again I apologize to those who are around me when I’m stressed out, and just keep in mind, that I am trying to be more optimistic, and I really can’t be a ray of sunshine all the time… Life just doesn’t work like that…

Later edit -> My life right now is very very hard  and I feel like I have no more power to overcome all the bad things, I don’t have any more patience and  not much hope that some day all things considered, I’ll be happy…