My hole life I’ve been constantly reaching for stars, for things I wanted and couldn’t have… simple (for me) things like a normal family, good grades, a dog, good health, etc. and I didn’t get too many of them.
Until this day, I still want these things and I have no idea when I can have them so I can stop being so stressed all the time, so I can kick back and relax a bit too instead of worrying all the time.
I wish people could say one day in the near future: I’m sorry, but I had to act like this so I can surprise you… but that’s never gonna happen
I can’t stop reaching… I can’t just sit around and wait, expect for things to come my way. Yet reaching didn’t pay off eighter… Sometimes I just don’t wanna do anything anymore, there are days where it’s just a little bit too much to take.
Even though I can look at my life and see where I’ve been and be grateful for what I have: it doesn’t make now any easier. I mean, I am grateful when I think of all that has gone, and I feel blessed to still be alive, to have a roof over my head, people who love me, but… I guess I’m just tired… what can and should I do?
I have no idea… maybe one day everything will be ok… maybe…