Shiny snail trails – by Estrella Azul

I looked at him through a veil of tears…

Sometimes, words leave behind them red and painful marks, which resemble shiny snail trails.
And just as slow as a snail’s sliding, words get lost in the enclosed, dark air.
Their traces remain however; bright, silvery, forming winding networks, with a lake of tears at every intersection.
Lakes with toads, snakes and poisonous plants.
No matter how hot a wind blowing over them might be, they don’t evaporate.
And no matter how clean the pouring rain falling on the snail trails might be, they shine just as much as before it; and blind the eye.

21 Responses to “Shiny snail trails – by Estrella Azul”

  1. Wow! Few words but they certainly pack a wallop. Great Job.

  2. lovely imagery, words tossed out and settle with their lasting reverberations as snail trails – wonderful

    marc nash

  3. Very nice! Lots of emotion packed into a little story.

  4. Hi!
    I saw your blog by chance, surfing on internet looking for something nice to read! I love it! Nice to read you!

  5. What a beautiful little prose poem. Nice.

  6. Wonderful combination of brevity and power. I love it!

  7. Good words about the power of words and their lasting impact.

  8. Very poetic, I love the images here.

  9. Some much packed into such a brief space. Excellent, excellent work.

    The pain flooded through, unhindered. There are so many good lines in this, but this one pushed the idea even deeper for me:

    “Lakes with toads, snakes and poisonous plants”

    Terrific work.

  10. My first ‘calling’ is poetry, so was pleased to see you write verse also. Your development of the effects of words resembling snail trails is a fresh sounding metaphor – always a delight to see one.

    When you have time, feel free to browse my poetry and comment on them, if you feel inclined.

  11. Very neat story. Quite a powerful little piece.

  12. Like the others have said, this is a powerful piece.

    Well done

  13. You packed a lot of hurt into this tiny piece. Well done.

  14. Captures the essence of a broken heart so well. Short and very powerful.
    ~jon

  15. @ All

    Thanks to all for the wonderful comments, I’m terribly sorry for not getting back to everyone in time (but am catching up even as I type) :)

  16. wonderfully written and what a thought, congrats! it’s mind blowing-ly great!

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