The worst thing about looking for a job is the interview. So, here is my retort to the corporate world.
And by all means, don’t forget to NOT take it seriously
‘Sup! My name is Estrella Azul and I am applying for this entry level position.
I know I would be a great fit for this position because I haven’t worked in like four years, so I kinda wanna maybe have an income for food and stuff, but I guess I could switch it up and do the same things I do at home, here at the office. There’s an internet connection and as long as I have Facebook and Twitter, I’m good. Better be a corner office though!
I am a terrific worker but if I had one weakness, it would be procrastinating. I can leave things on a to-do list for ages and probably even more if given the chance. Hope you’re not too fond of deadlines… And I am easily distracted. Not lately however, as I am really focused on getting a job. Oh, hey, have you ever noticed how weird being a writer sounds? Yeah, I mean not weird weird, but like people don’t get it and are always hitting you up for “You should write about this”. *laughing*
I would consider myself a successful person because I am still alive. I mean what greater accomplishment it there? Am I right?
In 5 years time, I see myself working at your company. I’m enjoying it because it has health benefits, I can bring my kids in when the sitter cancels and no one minds them running around because even though they say they hate them, everybody secretly loves kids and having gum stuck in their hair!
Well anyway, I think I got off track for a little there. I’ll just get out of your hair and come in first thing Monday morning for work. Although Wednesday would work better for me as I have this thing with my boyfriend on Monday and I might need a day to rest after it. But I’ll be here first thing on Wednesday.
One last thing you should probably know is that I tend to sleep in, so I might not get here until say 12pm, but I totally appreciate this opportunity!