Some silences… – by Estrella Azul

Incoming flight, no one waiting at the airport

Some silences are louder than words…

Arriving home, feeling out of place

Some silences are louder than words…

Walking next to each other, silently

Some silences are louder than words…

Giving back a ring, tears flooding both pairs of eyes

Some silences are louder than words…

Looking around the room while packing a suitcase

Some silences are louder than words…

A friend helping out, no questions asked

Some silences are louder than words…

Walking out, looking back at a half-empty room

Some silences are louder than words…

Over-thinking everything in each spare second

Some silences are louder than words…

Gazing at a picture, wishing for the phone to ring

Some silences are louder than words…

Wanting things back the way they used to be

Some silences are louder than words…

Saying “I love you” one last time, hearing “I love you” back

Yet… Some silences are louder than words…

 

December 2010

In need of a breath – by Estrella Azul

It never stops;

the hardship, the sadness.

They never stop;

the tears, the disappointments.

I wish they would stop.

I wish it would all just stop;

Just long enough to take a breath.

Can you understand… – by Estrella Azul

Can you understand that I need my space?
To breathe, to unwind, to just be. To be me.

Can you understand that your constant concern and reproach bring me down?
That you make me feel guilty about taking time for myself. That it’s affecting our relationship.

Can you understand that I worry, too?
That instability is throwing me off track. That it makes me feel insecure.

Can you understand that I feel stuck?
That I sometimes don’t see the beauty people talk about seeing in me. That my soul is searching for something I can’t find right now.

Can you understand that some decisions just have to be mine?
About me. No matter how much a part of my life you are.

Can you understand that I love you?
That I want to keep loving you. That I don’t want to fight.

But for that, I need you to understand me.
No questions asked. No banter. No undermining my needs.

Estrella Azul, Featured Poet

My week started out quite badly. It continued in the same manner. Though it’s only Wednesday, I’m somehow having the worst week of 2012 so far. (You guys, dear friends have been very supportive and wonderful – thank you! It helps.)

However, last night I came home to see myself featured on Dani Harris’s My Heart’s Love Songs, as part of her Featured Poets Series.

Dani’s description of me includes “she lives in Kolozsvár/Cluj-Napoca, Romania  but could truly be the girl next door in any country ~  as long as that girl is a young woman bursting with talent and creativity and sweetness. […] Estrella is one of  the most charming people you will ever meet.”

Well what can I say, except that Dani’s kind words about me and our friendship have turned my week around!

Thank you, Dani!

Heart on the beach – by Estrella Azul

A heart on the beach…

There’s something

in this picture

which makes me think

of not losing hope;

Even though the waves

will wash over that heart

and in a few minutes

there will be no trace

it ever existed…

Winter’s miracles – by Estrella Azul

The smallest snow flakes
Delicately rest on leaves –
Tiny miracles

You never said – by Estrella Azul

You said
you knew
I was the one.
You said
you were sure
I was incomparable.
You said
you wished
I never left.
You said
you thought
I would go back.

You never said stay,
you never asked
Me to return…