Some silences… – by Estrella Azul

Incoming flight, no one waiting at the airport

Some silences are louder than words…

Arriving home, feeling out of place

Some silences are louder than words…

Walking next to each other, silently

Some silences are louder than words…

Giving back a ring, tears flooding both pairs of eyes

Some silences are louder than words…

Looking around the room while packing a suitcase

Some silences are louder than words…

A friend helping out, no questions asked

Some silences are louder than words…

Walking out, looking back at a half-empty room

Some silences are louder than words…

Over-thinking everything in each spare second

Some silences are louder than words…

Gazing at a picture, wishing for the phone to ring

Some silences are louder than words…

Wanting things back the way they used to be

Some silences are louder than words…

Saying “I love you” one last time, hearing “I love you” back

Yet… Some silences are louder than words…

 

December 2010

In need of a breath – by Estrella Azul

It never stops;

the hardship, the sadness.

They never stop;

the tears, the disappointments.

I wish they would stop.

I wish it would all just stop;

Just long enough to take a breath.

Can you understand… – by Estrella Azul

Can you understand that I need my space?
To breathe, to unwind, to just be. To be me.

Can you understand that your constant concern and reproach bring me down?
That you make me feel guilty about taking time for myself. That it’s affecting our relationship.

Can you understand that I worry, too?
That instability is throwing me off track. That it makes me feel insecure.

Can you understand that I feel stuck?
That I sometimes don’t see the beauty people talk about seeing in me. That my soul is searching for something I can’t find right now.

Can you understand that some decisions just have to be mine?
About me. No matter how much a part of my life you are.

Can you understand that I love you?
That I want to keep loving you. That I don’t want to fight.

But for that, I need you to understand me.
No questions asked. No banter. No undermining my needs.

Heart on the beach – by Estrella Azul

A heart on the beach…

There’s something

in this picture

which makes me think

of not losing hope;

Even though the waves

will wash over that heart

and in a few minutes

there will be no trace

it ever existed…

Winter’s miracles – by Estrella Azul

The smallest snow flakes
Delicately rest on leaves –
Tiny miracles

You never said – by Estrella Azul

You said
you knew
I was the one.
You said
you were sure
I was incomparable.
You said
you wished
I never left.
You said
you thought
I would go back.

You never said stay,
you never asked
Me to return…

The slowest dance – by Estrella Azul

He asks me to dance,
grasps my shy hand in his,
leads me to the dance floor.

Firmly holds me close,
although we’ve just met,
swaying to the slow-beat song.

I gaze into his eyes,
step closer, ever so slowly,
draping my hands on his shoulders.

He caresses my hair,
envelopes me in gentle kisses,
as the distance left between us fades.

Movement is minimal,
desire fills us both,
all the walls crumble.

My heart is wide open,
throughout the slowest dance,
the music ends.

His embrace never dissolves, 
as we keep the rhythm until dawn,
even without audible melody.