Last week in the year of loving ourselves fearlessly, the assignment was to Ban “I can’t” from our lexicon. As j said: “I can’t” is easy to say and rarely true. Or, if it is true, it’s only half the story (and I would argue it’s not the most interesting or important half). It leaves off where the real you begins, the one who is afraid of being imperfect, the one who’s been hurt and doesn’t want to get hurt again, the one who struggles with boundaries, or priorities, or confidence. Whatever the reasons you say, “I can’t” (and we all do), this week will be a challenge; you’ll have to figure out a different way to say what you want to say: “I don’t want to,” or “I’m not interested,” or “I’m not ready yet.”
It didn’t turn out to be the challenge I thought it might be. Apparently I like explaining myself and being as clear as possible ;)
Instead of saying “I can’t”, I said the truth: “I don’t like peanuts”, “I’m reading, so maybe later”, “I’m unsure about it”, “I don’t like talking on the phone”, “I have a meeting in ten minutes”, “I don’t know how to do this, will you help me?”, “Having the AC below 21C is bad for me” and “I’ll see you tomorrow, instead.”
What I noticed is that after clearly stating what you’re feeling or the reason you don’t want to do something or try something, people might follow up and when that happens, fun and meaningful conversations arise as a product of it. Of course this wasn’t always the case, but I do like the chances better than if I’d be saying a flat out “No” or “I can’t”.
The only sentence I left and used “I can’t” in?
It was: I can’t wait! As in, “I can’t wait to see you again”, “I can’t wait to get home”, “I can’t wait for you to arrive”, “I can’t wait to have dinner and climb into bed” and “I can’t wait to see London again”.
The assignment for week 30 is to Try Something New Every Day. I like this idea! And I’m already wondering what to try over the course of this week.
Here’s what j says about this assignment, in the 52-52 guide: “Here’s what I know about trying something new, no matter what it is: you are, in that moment of experimentation and adventure, absolutely present. It’s true whether you’re bungee jumping, or learning to swim, or writing your first poem, or running your first marathon, or role playing with your lover, or tasting for the first time chocolate covered insects. It’s true whether you love or hate the new thing you try.”
How was your week? Did you manage to ban “I can’t” from your lexicon? How easy was it, or did you have a hard time with this assignment? And, were there many thing you couldn’t wait for?
PS: If you’re interested in joining us, you don’t have to have the e-guide to play, but if you’d like it, you can buy it in the shop.