Picking out the engagement ring: together or not?


This is an old blog post. The story is now a distant, beautiful memory.

As a girl, I can only say picking out your own engagement ring or being surprised with it isn’t a good statement as a general rule. I really think it depends on the couple.
If they are comfortable with choosing a ring together than it’s their decision and no one can/nor should change their mind.
The engagement is all about a couple’s love for one another,
wanting to spend the rest of their life together, with or without an engagement ring, picked out together or being surprised with it.

On a more personal note, I have picked out my own engagement ring.
It was supposed to be a surprise, my Sweetheart knew I really liked a ring I have saved a photo of ages ago (he found it) and he tried to have it custom made for me.
The jeweler assured him he could do it, but when it was done… it really wasn’t anything like the photo. He didn’t like it, so just to make sure, he showed me a photo of it and I didn’t like it either. Thank goodness he could return it.
So one day when we went for a walk he surprised me by taking me ring shopping. We had fun, we both stated our opinion and chose accordingly.
He could’ve just given me the money so I could buy whatever I wanted, but I was very happy to be able to see how he imagined it, and share this moment with him.
I’m not a material person, I don’t see price tags when I look at anything I own, on presents I got, etc. and I most certainly didn’t want him to buy an expensive ring (although he wanted to buy a diamond ring at first).
Finally we ended up buying a very nice white gold Cubic Zirconia ring. I love it so much!
I’m happy to have found such a beautiful ring, stating his love for me, as the symbol of being engaged since this is the custom. Although I chose a slightly (more) unconventional ring. We love it, that’s what’s important!

I don’t know about anyone else, I can only speak in my own name when I say this, but I was very happy he showed me the first ring so I could tell him I didn’t like it. Going ring shopping together was amazing, I didn’t know before how much attentive he was to the details of it, how much effort he had put in it and how much my opinion mattered. He genuinely wanted me to be happy with it.
I will wear the ring we bought close to forever. I love it and won’t stop wearing it just because we’re married, I’ll just place it on another finger.

So as a note for couples: do what best suits your relationship! You are the only two people who know what would be best!

The engagement isn’t about picking out a ring (together or not), that’s just one part of the engagement.

This post was inspired by this article on Pillowchats.com the content of it being from my comments there. I felt strongly about sharing my opinion here too.

What’s your opinion? Would you like to be surprised or go ring shopping together? (Or what would’ve you liked?) Feel free to share.

21 Comments to “Picking out the engagement ring: together or not?”

  1. Shopping for a ring together should only solidify your relationship, it shouldn’t be taken as an insult or lack of love, attention, etc. You made your point amazingly, great post!

  2. Hey I just wanted to let you know, I really like the writing on your web site. As far as picking out engagement rings together goes, it’s probably for the best if it works for the couple, right?
    Keep up the superb work!

  3. I feel the same, why not pick it out together if that’s what you want?
    Nice keep up the good work.

  4. I couldn’t decide whether to go shopping together or just alone, but your article helped. I’ll ask what she would like, so that way she’ll have the choice without me ruining it if she doesn’t :)
    Thank you!

  5. Thanks for leaving your opinions, love finding out what you guys think!

  6. Now I will. Thanks for that.

  7. You have a terrific outlook on life, loved this post!

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