Dear Self,

Self love doesn’t come easily. That’s the main reason you need to write this letter. The main reason to set aside criticizing, undermining and doubting yourself.

Being kind to yourself seems to come easier when someone else orders you to do it. It’s easy to overlook being kind and loving to yourself. You should start being more bossy to yourself regarding this (as opposed to the so many things you’d want to, but which don’t require changing). 

People are complex creatures. They can deceive, hurt and kill.
You died quite a few times. Once almost literally. Because people can kill with mere words and behavior as well and that affects you more than it probably should.
Yet, you seem to have a hidden talent for knowing exactly what someone is like from the first few seconds of meeting them.
Trust those instincts! They’re mostly right.
And when they’re not, don’t be too hard on yourself. You’re allowed to make mistakes.

You know love. You know heartbreak – from the tiny everyday kind to the big, messy, life-altering kind of heartbreaks. And, with the risk of sounding slightly pessimistic, there are more heartbreaks to come.   
Yet, allow room for vulnerability. Know, that even if you lose sight of it, even when you feel emotionally exhausted, there’s always the tiniest grain of hope that will keep you going when things get tough.
Some people come into your life for a reason, for a season, or for a lifetime. And when you’re really lucky – some of them will turn out to be all three.
So keep loving (nearly) fearlessly!

You leapt. Every day of your life. You took on challenges.
Sometimes you didn’t even feel a breeze, other times you thought you’ll never stop falling. At times you hit the ground. Hard.
But here you are. You had the courage to pick yourself up. And then kept on leaping.
The process will start all over again and you’ll hit the ground many times to come.
But never stop leaping! Because even if most of the time it doesn’t feel like it – you grew stronger!

I know you might sometimes get absorbed in thoughts that keep you from seeing how special you really are – so this is a reminder to keep noticing and focus on the good thoughts, things, happenings and people. Just be – and continue working on being positively present.
Like your friend said last week, I also wish you could look at yourself through the eyes of everyone who appreciates your words, your blog, your rise from the emotional ashes, your authentic search for North.
Because you have achieved so many things even if you’re not exactly where you’d like to be, where you imagined yourself to be. Try to lose perfectionism!

You think it would be lovely if everyone came with a warning label.
Well, yours should undoubtedly come with a pretty ocean background and read:

estrella azul warning label


The puzzle that is you is worth trying to solve. Let people try!

Your eyes well up with tears as I reach the ending sentences of this letter… That’s because you know I’m right.

So make it your daily goal to be as loving to yourself as you are to everyone around (or slightly further from) you.
You deserve it!


Love always,

~ K


What you’ve just read is a letter to myself.
I wrote it as a part of the Love Project after J challenged people to write a love letter to themselves last week.
What can I say? It took me a full week of procrastination and self-doubt that I could actually write something I’d share (i.e. something that’s uplifting instead of insidiously undermining). But I did it!
It was timely. It’s something I needed to read, to hear (I might just record it later and save it to my phone to have with me at all times). It surprised me in more than one way, and I’m so grateful J has this way of challenging me.

Thank you, J!

To read J’s awe-inspiring love letter to herself, go here :)

If any of you feel inspired to write a love letter to yourself, feel free to do so in the comments or post it on your own blogs and leave me a link. I’d love to read them!

32 Responses to “Dear Self,”

  1. Well done, Estrella. To do that, and then to share it, takes courage, enthusiasm and – as you certainly are – openness to possibility.

    And yes, leaping is good. More often than not…you grow wings!

    • Your words made me a bit teary, Kevin, thank you for taking the time to tell me.

      And (with the risk of stating it over and over), I love this thought of yours – growing wings as we leap!

  2. LOVE this, Estrella! I relate to so much of it… wonder how much of it is a writer’s thing and how much is that you and I are just alike? Or both?

  3. Estrella, I admire you so much for being so open-minded and honest here, for having the courage to share your love – of yourself and for others – with the world. This is beautiful!
    You have inspired me to write a love letter to myself. Maybe I’ll share it, hopefully I will, but first I need to find out what I have to say :) which I will do right now. Thank you so much for this!

    • Thank you, Deanna, it wasn’t easy that’s for sure – but I’ve made it through and the love letter has seen the light of day on my blog. The love and support it generated from my friends is just amazing, and I’m so grateful to have you all in my life!

      It makes me so happy to know I’ve inspired you this much, thank you for letting me know!

  4. You had me thinking about it so much Estrella, I couldn’t let it wait – here’s my letter:
    Thank you!


%d bloggers like this: