Are you allowed to?

For the last full week of May we didn’t get a self-love assignment from J as a part of her Love Project.
That means I spent the past eight days – though not deliberately – paying attention to anything but loving myself or giving myself a break. Both figuratively and literally. (Although to be fair, I did reward myself by starting lunch backwards after today’s achievement and had dessert first ;) )

It was definitely a full week that I’ve spent mainly with cleaning up and sorting stuff (after a new water heater was installed, after rearranging all the furniture in my mom’s room (plus, it’s beyond me how I can take a door off its hinges, carry it outside, then bring it inside and put it back in its place ALL by myself – but then hurt my ankle while moving a bed when I have help…), tutoring, decorating my grandparents’ birthday cake, making lemonade, having company over, finishing/mailing wedding favor orders, wiring and installing an outlet (gotta love home improvements!)… etc.
And while I loved doing all of these and they give me a boost of happiness, they also left me beyond tired. Add that to windows/doors being changed this week throughout the house and don’t forget to include little-to-no sleep – I’m not sure what you’ll get as a result come next week. We’ll have to wait and see I guess.

However, even if I didn’t have time to sit down and properly work on it until just now, after being very much inspired by J’s post, and the quote which inspired her – every time something came to mind I jotted it down and by today, I came up with the list you’ll find a couple of paragraphs below.
So I did do some soul searching and that’s always a plus :)

“ It’s interesting that the allowed list is harder to remember and to write down. I think we might be afraid of how much freedom we actually have, and how much we’re expected to do with that freedom. ”

– Seth Godin, Poke the Box

The quote really got me thinking of how kids are raised given a whole list of what not to do/say/think. Of how, when we’re all grown up, we turn that into an even longer list we live by. Generally without second guessing, and especially, more often than not without even thinking of all the thing we ARE allowed to do.  

So, here’s some of what I’m allowed to:

  • I’m allowed to not be as perfect as I think I need to be
  • I’m allowed to enjoy the silence
  • I’m allowed to hope – it’s the bravest thing I have
  • I’m allowed to change, to be different
  • I’m allowed to be myself – no one else will
  • I’m allowed to play
  • I’m allowed to try and learn – anything and everything
  • I’m allowed to make messes
  • I’m allowed to trust and don’t disregard that first instinct
  • I’m allowed to choose
  • I’m allowed to feel – love, sad, happy, relieved, anything and to (below)
  • I’m allowed to not feel guilty
  • I’m allowed to occasionally overreact
  • I’m allowed to do what I think is best vs. what everyone thinks I should be going
  • I’m allowed to cry, to hurt, to be vulnerable – once in a blue moon, once a week, every day… whenever
  • I’m allowed to pause to reflect
  • I’m allowed to go for it, to rather regret going for that part on Life’s Stage, than regret not trying out at all
  • I’m allowed to be full of hesitation, to be positive that I’m unsure

Feel like sharing? What are you allowed to do?

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8 Responses to “Are you allowed to?”

  1. Wonderful! I think when people read or hear the word hope, they brush it off too easily. There are many I’ve met that treat it like its some kind of luxury item, something they don’t need. I love what you said about hope — being the bravest thing you have…that’s it exactly. It takes a great deal of courage to step into our hope. Hell, even to hold onto it. Yet, if we can hold on, and do, it is one of the most powerful tools at our disposal. Its so worth mustering up courage, and holding on anyway. Great article, Estrella :). Thank you.

    • I’m so happy what I said about hope rang so true to you, Cindy. I actually think I stole that line, I have a feeling I’ve read that somewhere and had the same reaction you just did as soon as the thought made its home in my mind.
      Love how we’re on the same page about it, it’s always lovely to read your thoughts! Thank you :)

  2. Oh, and….

    I am allowed to color outside the lines :D.

    • LOVE that!

      PS: Can’t believe I didn’t remember that one, as I’ve said it just a couple of months ago. Many of the things in my list are related though, so it would’ve been repetitive to include anyway ;)

  3. Woo-hoo! Rocking the Allowed List baby! Now print it and place it prominently to remind yourself every day. <3

    • Thanks for all the inspiration, j! And for stopping by to tell me that I rock the Allowed List ;)
      Good idea – I probably won’t print it out, but write it by hand.

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