Disjointed, scattered thoughts

A million thoughts race through my mind every waking moment. The following are only some of the more important ones.


Two friends of mine got married over the summer.
I’ve met both grooms. I don’t really like either one of them.

Judging people is normal and it’s part of human nature, but it’s also a good thing to try to keep those judgments to a minimum when it comes to friendships. I know that. I know that we’re all human. I know that we all make mistakes. When a friend does or says something I don’t understand, I strive to be open-minded and nonjudgmental.

Maybe it’s that first impression which has rarely proven me wrong that somehow keeps me from warming up to certain people.
But when I see my friends being disrespected right in front of me – grooms mumbling rude comments during people’s congratulations – it’s hard for me to keep an open mind. And yet, the rose-colored glasses are on, and so, I can only hope my friends will have a happy life in spite of what I (and quite a few people around me) noticed.


It’s great when you can find a song of which you only recall the first line, but one that has stuck with you for the past 14 years or longer. Google search and YouTube are awesome in that way, aren’t they? And what’s even more interesting is how you could take it as a two in one – the lyrics have a different ring to them now.

Far far away on the edge of the world
you were lost out of place
out of time
Where are they now
all the ghosts from your past
lost in dreams of a time long gone by
It’s like a mirror in your mind
you see the love left behind
you’re lost in time


Two people, many friends, one basketball game. Interested looks, several dates, heaps of common interests, some negligible differences, sweet words. A budding relationship. Is hesitation a sign that one isn’t ready or that it is not right?


Sometimes we notice how there are things we absolutely know to be true. Sometimes we imagine truths that keep our hopes up. And then there is The Truth.

The truth which sometimes lands as a bomb, like Danielle La Porte wrote about.
The truth which turns our world upside down when we go searching for it. It answers some questions, yet confuses us even more and raises an endless list of new questions. It brings forth emotions we struggled to hide at the very bottom of our hearts and reopens wounds we thought to be healed.

The truth about death. About someone you loved. It forces us to keep relying on our hearts. To hope it is strong enough not to break.
To hope that even if there is no way to pinpoint the exact place He is buried, maybe all those souls around him in that mass grave also needed someone to visit them from time to time and light a candle for them. 


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