A month of seeing

The thing is bits and pieces of September drove by faster than F1 racing cars cross the finish line, yet other times it passed unmercifully slowly.

(Throughout my life I did and will continue doing my best to see the person behind degrees, job titles, clothes, groceries, cars, make-up, walls and masks and everything else that makes most people jump to conclusions and judge another person. It could sound like a brag, but that’s just me being myself.)

This month I’ve been dealing with (or rather many times doing my best avoiding and generally losing tons of sleep to) some personal issues. There aren’t too many up-sides to them. Yet, they did have one as far as this month of seeing went.

Not so long ago, I heard someone say how the blind can teach us to see more clearly. I fully agree. And I think those who love us from six feet under can also do that.

A few weeks ago I had to deal with very different people than I’m surrounded by every day. They were all either helpful, unable to help, indifferent or flat out lying.
Going from door to door and learning how people thought of someone I love, hearing the kind words they could say six to eight years later, helped me get through the blow more easily.
They didn’t have to smile. They didn’t have to be nice. They didn’t have to say any good things. They just saw beyond the appearances and shared what they knew to be true. This fact made me think there was, that was, the reason behind having to go through all of that “legwork”.
I had to deal with quite a few government officials. And while some of them could’ve clearly used a lesson in manners, most of them saw me for what I am, a person, and helped me out even in instances when they had to go about it unofficially and off the record (in everyone’s defense I would’ve found out later anyway) so I could get to what I was searching for a little bit faster.
I had the chance to meet new people, to start getting to know them and let them get to know me – flaws, sadness, uncertainty and all.

Considering all of this now that I’ve written it out, one important thing I can say is that: I’m so happy this month of seeing went both ways.


9 Responses to “A month of seeing”

  1. It sounds like it’s been a hill-climb of a month and if I could wish you anything – it would be strength – the strength to deal with whatever it is you’re facing.

  2. Seeing clearly – something that’s not always easy. Yet it’s so valuable – for the see-er, as well as for those being seen. It requires that most precious of things, that we be present, aware, here. ‘Cause if we’re not, we don’t see what, or who, is in front is us.

    I’m glad your month of September went well, Estrella – even if aspects of it required some of your best avoiding (I love that idea) and cost you sleep.

    Be good to yourself.

    • Really like your thoughts on seeing clearly and I agree, not easy, yet so valuable.
      Seems to me things keep requiring my best avoiding (especially when everything comes all at once – like I don’t think of a million different things all at once anyway, let’s pile more on there). It was time to select some of those things to deal with what is more pressing.
      Thank you so much for your comment, I’ll try and be good to myself.

  3. You have handled your situation and the month of seeing with more grace and maturity than many others in your position. Even your conclusion shows so much insight, where you could have completely locked down, you chose not to. I honor you for that, Estrella. Whether or not you are trying to be an inspiration, you definitely are.

    Thank you, and *hugs* :-)

    • Kenneth… I’m speechless and all teary even now after a few days of first reading your thoughts about me. I guess the best reply I can leave is a simple (yet so much more than that in the background) “Thank you, my dear friend!”
      *huge hugs right back at ya*

  4. You’re right on the money Estrella – if we don’t see the “bad”, then the “good” doesn’t look half as good.
    Whatever it is you’re going through, I wish you much hope for only the best outcome, and many hugs!


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