One dumb thing I used to believe in (Okay, so maybe two)

I used to believe I was weak and worthless. Some years ago, yes, but remnants still floated by every once in a while closer to the past few years. Inadvertently, I also used to believe self-love didn’t have much to do with the love I put out there and share with everyone I care for.
And then there was last May. Last May, I wrote myself a love letter. I gave myself permission to do one thing, for seven days. I committed premeditated acts of self-love. I wrote a list of what I’m allowed to do, and paid more attention to all that I can do.
It was a month of self-love, but also a moth of rediscovering myself, of rediscovering how much I’m worth and how while my heart may be broken to pieces not only in big life altering ways, but in tiny everyday ways, while I may be fragile to a certain degree – I’m strong enough!

When I read j’s recent post tonight, over at a Human Thing, it has led me to be able to recognize what made my day a good, truly love-filled one:
allowing myself to feel vulnerable and breakable.
(After a babysitting situation which in the heat of the moment felt/was quite brave. In hindsight it was also quite stupid/dangerous, but that’s how the “mommy-bravery” thing works, I guess).

 

What’s one dumb thing you used to believe in?

 

*Blog post inspired by this week’s question from Danielle LaPorte’s The Burning Questions Series.

 

PS: I also used to believe in fairy tales and buy into the whole concept of The One. At the end of 2010 I have also come to the same conclusion as Danielle has. But that’s another story.

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5 Responses to “One dumb thing I used to believe in (Okay, so maybe two)”

  1. I’m glad you’re over those beliefs of self-weakness and untrustworthiness. Personally, I was once convinced that if I ever drove, I’d be in a horrible wreck. It was months of driving before the feeling went away.

    • Wasn’t the trustworthiness but worthiness overall.
      I am also very glad I got over it!
      Hmmm fear while driving. That’s valid if you look at it from many angles, but you are a good driver, I’m sure, so it’s great you got over it.

  2. Great post Estrella! I’m so glad the “theraputic” posts helped you to realize you ARE worth something – and a lot at that, (in my opinion).
    Many things come to mind when I think of dumb things I used to believe in. But the first thing that popped into my head was a conversation I had with my best friend, (who happens to be my mother’s age, she’s always been sort of that part of my mother I missed growing up), years ago, when I was around 22 years old. I told her Love Never Dies, it only changes form, and she tried and tried to beat it in my head that that simply was not true, that love does indeed die. More than 20 years later I’m still not convinced that love does die. Though I’ve certainly felt the heartbreak of love changing form, I can’t help but feel that love is still there, even if but a mist.

  3. YOU are one of the MOST creative, talented, kind, caring, capable, sweet, enchanting, passionate, fun, and beautiful inside and out women i have EVER met, Estrella! we all have our down days, but i hope you can always remember how others see you ~ AMAZING!

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