Find the gold

The assignment for last week in the year of loving ourselves fearlessly was to Find the Gold. To take the time. Try to find the gold in everyone we met. Or met up with.
This is something that comes naturally to me. I usually try to find something good even in the people I don’t click with right away.

Last week, in an effort to get to know two people better, I decided to ask them out one evening after work. I figured this would tie in so well with my week of finding gold, because we don’t get along too well.
We’ve had our differences in the past, but given we will eventually go out together with a larger group of friends, I wanted to see if we could go past our differences. To see if we could go past simple, polite chit-chat. We all get to choose if we make the first move when it comes to connection or if we’re going to be a further part of misunderstandings. We have control over whether or not we’re going to reach out.
So, I reached out even though they’ve never tried to. If there was gold in there, I was intent on finding it!

I think that one always have the right to express their opinion and discuss an issue further. But only if it serves a purpose and helps one move forward. Meeting up with these people did help me move forward.

However, Thursday evening came and went without much changing in our relationship. We won’t get past talking only about the weather and other small talk. I am doing my best to understand that some people are not meant for complex conversations, or contemplating the meaning of our existences, or helpful in nursing wounds back to health.
To be honest, I half-expected this, so I am not too surprised. On the other hand though, I went into the whole thing with such a positive attitude (after freaking out for half a day, because let’s face it, I was indeed worried, too!), that I was even more disappointed when we said good night. More disappointed than I felt before trying this.
Their attitude and actions were beyond anything I expected, and the whole encounter just exhausted me. I still feel depleted. And, I don’t even think I was too coherent when my boyfriend asked me about it. I couldn’t find to right words to express myself properly when trying to tell him about my evening.

So why am I even telling you about this? Because finding the gold is hard!
It takes much more than one evening, it definitely needs for unnecessary attitude and past poo not to get into the way of things, and you know what? Sometimes… that gold is simply nowhere to be found no matter how hard you mine for it!

The assignment for Week 37 is to Stretch Every Day. 
To stretch bodily, mentally, spiritually… every way you can. As j said in the 52-52 guide, “The goal for this week is to reach, always, for what lies just beyond your grasp, whether it’s your toes…”
I am stretching my back even as I type this, so let’s see how this week goes… beyond stretching my body.

How was your week? Did you find gold in the people you met, or met up with? Was it hard to be conscious of finding the gold, or you didn’t have to remind yourself often?

PS: If you’re interested in joining us, you don’t have to have the e-guide to play, but if you’d like it, you can buy it in the shop.

4 Comments to “Find the gold”

  1. I read this quote “If your number one goal is to make sure that everyone likes and approves of you, then you risk sacrificing your uniqueness, and, therefore, your excellence.” from someone, not sure who said it, but I think it’s quite accurate.
    Good for you for trying, but don’t dwell on it. They’re not worth it.

  2. I love how you were going to try and find the gold with these people you had some differences with… to move forward. I recently read somewhere (and I’m stating it in the way that I took its meaning) that we can’t give love (pure love) to all people, that sometimes we have to know there’s no use, and just give a detached kind of love. Not sure if this makes sense. But bravo to you for giving it a shot.

    • I like that, Lynn, a detached kind of love. Makes me think about love in its so many other forms. Thanks for the thought!
      My life will be so much simpler now that I know there isn’t anything that I can do personally for ours to be a proper friendship. Because before giving this a shot, I kept putting myself down for how things were. Now I know this is just the way it is, and that’s that. Thank you for your kind words! It means a lot that someone else has the same view of this as I do now.

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