For last week’s assignment in the year of loving ourselves fearlessly we had a poem to write. An “I am not old” poem, or rather an “I am not” poem where we’d write out what we’re not: afraid, lesser than others, alone, etc.
The thing is, we often feel this way. Because somehow as human beings, we’re wired to compare ourselves to others. We grow up being compared to each other during school years, we’re comparing ourselves to our friends, we’re measured against ideals in relationships, and most of us have evaluations at work which I’m sure are supposed to be confidential but everyone starts bragging how well they did once the evaluation period is over.
No matter how well we do, how good an achievement we reach is, there’s always someone just a coin toss away who did better, or who is (even if in our eyes alone) better than we are.
So here’s sharing the jumble of words I’ll pass off as a poem. Hope you like it as much as it was beneficial for me to type it out.
I am not…
I am not alone,
even if sometimes I perceive it
as if I were.
I am not disliked,
even if it feels that way at times –
people express themselves poorly.
I am not a bad writer,
even if the persons who matter the most
don’t read my writing.
I am not quiet,
even if I rather listen first
and interact afterwards.
I am not overlooked,
even if louder people
get “picked” first.
I am not ugly,
even if my ideal weight
isn’t what I’m currently at.
I am not lesser than others,
even if my high standards for myself
make it seem so.
I am not unsuccessful,
even if self-sabotage
comes more easily than self-love.
The assignment for Week 39 is to Make a Not-To-Do List. j was inspired for the assignment for this week by Danielle Laporte, who says that when we strive to do what we really want (love, are passionate about), the things we decide NOT to do are sometimes just as important as the things we decide to start or continue doing.
“This week, make a very specific list of what you won’t be doing. Don’t generalize. Writing “I won’t procrastinate,” or “I won’t put myself last” isn’t specific enough to actually open up space in your week. “I won’t check email more than twice a day” is better. It’s specific. The time you spend NOT going through your inbox can be spent doing something creative and soul-filling.”
This week, I’ll be traveling to Constanta, which is on the Romanian seaside. I can’t wait! My first real vacation since December last year (when I’ve spent more than half of my vacation time cleaning our apartment, my mom’s, and my grandparents places…). So this assignment comes in very handy! As soon as I arrive, I’ll write my Not-To-Do List, and make room for fun things and relaxing, enjoying my holiday as much as possible!
How was your week? Did you write an “I am not” poem? Did you struggle to write it, or did it come easily to you? Are there many things you wish you didn’t compare yourself to others in?
PS: If you’re interested in joining us, you don’t have to have the e-guide to play, but if you’d like it, you can buy it in the shop.