In the year of loving ourselves fearlessly, last week we were to Be Unapologetic. And it was as tough as I predicted, especially since a friend recently asked me “Why are you always so apologetic?” after I’d apologized for sending him a link to a song he didn’t like too much.
You know those movie or cartoon situations when someone’s irritated by the other person who says “sorry” too many times? And they tell them to stop it, and then the other person instinctively wants to apologize for it?
Yeah, that’s me…
My friend pointed out that I say “sorry” for any kind of small thing. Like if he didn’t agree with something I said, I’d say sorry. If I offered a suggestion he wouldn’t implement, I’d say sorry. And in more than half the time the situation didn’t call for “sorry”, because it wasn’t like I did or said something wrong. He advised me to be more mindful of this and not say “sorry” unless I actually made mistakes.
This past week, after I misread something he wrote and he pointed it out jokingly in capital letters, I simply said “Oh, I misread that. Oops.”
He asked me “So… no sorry this time?”, to which I replied “Nope.” We had a good laugh!
I did my best. And yay, at least three times I managed to hold my tongue instead of apologizing for things that are nobody’s fault. I really need to think about it first. Decide if it’s real. Be discerning. And then say sorry only when I really, truly am (just like j noted.)
The assignment for Week 44 is to Be Surprising. It was recently pointed out to me that I should let loose more often, be more lively. It pairs well with this week’s assignment. Here’s what j says about it:
“It’s so easy these days to find yourself on autopilot, your mind ticking through your to-do list as you run from place to place getting shit done. […] This week, surprise yourself. Surprise other people. Do things that are unexpected. Do things you wouldn’t ordinarily do. Leave a flower for the mail carrier. Study the sky. Invite someone to coffee. Blow a kiss. Be irreverent, silly, unabashedly devoted.”
How was your week? Are you also a compulsive apologizer? Did you manage to keep the apologies to only times when you truly owed someone an apology?
PS: If you’re interested in joining us, you don’t have to have the e-guide to play, but if you’d like it, you can buy it in the shop.