No Auditioning & Drawing a self-portrait

The assignments for the last two weeks in the year of loving ourselves fearlessly were to not audition for love, and to draw a self-portrait (or seven).

I have a natural tendency toward putting myself last and people-pleasing, so during the week of no auditioning it was quite hard to actually follow up on the assignment. It would’ve been so much easier to just go where I was told, do what was expected of me no questions asked and caring for everyone around me first before “getting” to myself.

Truth is, I know I have the choice of saying “No” to things, that I should act on my own priorities and values.
So I aksed myself “what are the most important things to me?” question and took it from there. I stalled when I could, and said I needed to think about things/favors when that was the case. I thought about how stressful it would be for me to undertake said favor, how much pressure I would feel. I considered if it was worth it, and if I actually had the time to do it or what I would need to give up in order to free time for that specific thing.
I also tried something new to me and gave myself a kind of time limit, like “I’m only free for this during 9 am to 11 am.” for example, I said “No” with conviction, and also did my best to not give excuses – which is always a temptation for me as I want people to understand my reasoning (but it usually backfires because it gives people wiggle room to try and help me find time, resources, etc. for what they ask of me).
I’m convinced I’m a good path, and will do my best to continue doing these things instead of auditioning for love.

As for the self-portrait? Well, I drew it this morning since I took last week off from my blog without any notice – we went on a short trip with the BF and I wanted to focus on just the two of us and sight-seeing.

draw a self-portrait

How was your holiday season? Did you manage not auditioning for love? How tough was it? Are you a natural people-pleaser, too? Did you draw a self-portrait? I’d love to see it, if so!

PS: If you’re interested in giving this a go in 2016, you can buy the 52-52 guide in the shop.

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3 Responses to “No Auditioning & Drawing a self-portrait”

  1. I am a major people-pleaser, and like you, I offer up my reasoning for not doing something and then suddenly, I’m doing it anyway because a friend heard my reason for not doing something and found a way around it for me (sigh).

    I’ve had to cancel and reschedule many things due to a major life event, and even though people understand what you’re going through, it seems their needs are so much more important than my own!

    Glad you took the week off for some time with your boyfriend. Happy New Year to you!

    • Yeah, I know what you’re saying with the reasoning backfire thingy… I hope you manage to start saying NO more easily and stick to it!

      I’m sorry you had to cancel and reschedule many things because of a major life event, I hope that things work themselves out soon and that you have enough strength to deal with everything as fearlessly and seamlessly as possible *hugs you tight*

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