2010, December 16
I think one of the most important lessons I’ve learned over this past year is to do my best with what I have, to improvise and to try not fearing the uncertain things, twists and turns Life throws at me.
3 lessons I’m forever relearning are:
– putting myself first isn’t selfish, it’s necessary (though I still feel selfish about it 99% of the time)
– everything that goes wrong can go right too (I need to remember not to lose hope)
– following someone else’s lead isn’t that bad (trying to always be in control of everything is tiring and sometimes useless)
I’ve recently found that I shouldn’t reject the unknown, that I shouldn’t beat myself up about it, but welcome new things even when I feel they will turn my world upside down.
Because truthfully: that’s what uncertainty does. It takes over our world and turns everything upside down, and it takes us a while to act, to change and just go with the flow.
But overcoming our fears and doing something very differently makes us stronger and may lead to something so much better than what we had before!
Normally people are afraid of change and prefer things remaining as they are, as to not stir the waters.
I’m guilty of doing that myself… Of not speaking up when I have the chance, of letting fear overcome me.
Change takes serious efforts. Change is risky. But change is good!
Change is about finding a new balance.
Change means accepting your new self and trying to welcome your new path. Stepping off the beaten path and making your own takes courage!
But when you’ve had the courage to do so, even if you don’t know where you’ll end up, change gives you the chance to be better than you were, to make things better in your life, and in the life of those you care about.
If I really think about it… I’d rather regret doing something, than not going for it when I had the chance!
What about you guys? Any lessons you keep relearning? Do you struggle with deciding you need a/need to change?
2009, October 15
It’s Blog Action Day today! Instead of a speech from me, you can find out what it is by clicking the link I provided :)
I stumbled upon this website by chance and, just like with Earth Hour, I fell in love with the idea of writing even just one post today which added up with many other posts leads to lots of people talking about the environment, spreading the news, and overall discussing important issues.
Everyone experiences climate change!
Since it’s a global problem, it literally affects everything and everyone.
There are many obvious changes in the atmosphere’s composition or in land surface, like:
temperature, precipitation, wind, pollution, sea levels rising, ocean acidification, animals going extinct, etc.
Surely you’ve noticed…
My most recent example is: snow in October this Tuesday and yesterday when just Monday it was so hot I was walking home in a T-Shirt. Now it’s so cold I had to switch to a winter coat, hat, scarf and even gloves in the morning/at night.
What we can do:
– sign up and post your thoughts on Blog Action Day. Join and take action, this way you’ll also start a discussion
– share your thoughts about this topic on Twitter, Facebook, MySpace, Hi5, etc. whatever you’re using
– contact your government representatives
– tell your friends
– reduce your usage of resources
– reuse whatever you can
– and even more ways to get involved are listed here.
I’m convinced that if we all do our best individually, we can change a lot!
2009, October 1
I wrote about Friends of the Road and Friends of the Heart a while back, and now I’ll focus a bit on the second one, since I was in a pretty meditative mood today about friendship and the end of friendships.
There are friendships built in time that you’re sure will last for a lifetime.
I mean the kind of relationship with those people who come into your life, you discover and get to know them step by step, and end up loving them with all your heart, more and more with each day that passes, each joyous and sad moment you go through together, and you can’t even imagine your life without their friendship.
You know that somehow they’re so much like you, understand you, help you and you can count on them any time you need them.
You share your joy and sadness, thoughts, feelings, important things and even just silence.
But sadly there comes a time when things change, when we get disappointed by some of our friends in a bigger or smaller way.
And then, you realize, it’s gone… your true friendship has ended just like that.
Suddenly word don’t have their place or even meaning they once had, stories are being told in the past tense, and memories end up further and further away.
It happens to everyone at some point and it’s sad.
But luckily every friendship leaves us with something good too.
It’s all up to us what we choose to keep in our hearts.
2009, September 13
There are moments in Life when too much of a good thing is boring.
Maybe when you’re in a routine and don’t realize it.
You have beautiful, loving people around you but don’t see them any more, you’re wanting something different, feeling the need of change without knowing what the reason for it is.
Maybe in a moment of hesitation and weakness we’d give up on what we have for something unsure. We may want something we don’t have, and when getting it realize: it really wasn’t what we imagined.
In moments when you need a change, instead of totally giving up on things, things you’d rather leave behind, if you consider all the alternatives before deciding, you’ll notice how: not much needs changing. There’s always the possibility of treasuring things more than you would’ve before.
Then there are times when change is necessary. When after thinking everything through so you won’t regret any upcoming decisions the best thing is to leave behind things that make you unhappy or hold you back and make a choice. Choose to be happy and make it happen by changing jobs, living situations, relationships, cities, countries… what ever it takes!
And… even if not always explicitly, there’s always someone there for us along the way and who helps us and shows us the way or the way back to our journey. Maybe it’s a family member, a good friend, a lover or someone you’ve never even met in person, someone you’re exchanging e-mails with and inspires you.
For a while now I’ve been on a journey of changing quite a few things and so far I couldn’t make the biggest changes I need, but I’m still going forward and that’s what matters right now!
2009, August 20
On the streets around lunch time, walking around downtown, running errands. It was crowded, but not so much as to not be able to notice people around. I like to people watch when walking and not only, it helps time fly by faster, like a trick that helps me get wherever I’m going in less amount of time.
By chance or not, there were many teenagers around me, passed me by, mostly young girls. Interestingly enough, but actually not surprisingly, they were all wearing tons of make-up, had more rings on their fingers that there’s room for, wearing many earrings all through their ears, lip/eyebrow/(probably also tongue) piercings and with brightly (many many varieties to just simply black) colored hair. With tight and short clothes, whereas even a not necessarily careful look in the mirror would clearly state against that kind of outfits on their weighty silhouettes. Most all girls tend to fit to this portrait…
And don’t get me wrong, I’m not closed minded, nor stating that I’m a beauty queen. I like wearing tight clothes, but I’d never leave the house like those girls do if I didn’t look good in whatever I’m wearing, I have highlights, but I’d never color my hair to look like a parrot and I wouldn’t put so much make-up on that my face would fall off after 5 steps or be mistaken with a clown.
Not that I’m so much older now, not many years have passed since I was a teenager myself, but when I was their age it was different. It’s a sad reality and such examples are somewhat depressing to see, because the question is there: what will girls look like in another few years? How quickly and drastically times change…
2009, August 8
When you have too much time on your hands and you’re all alone for the day, you end up thinking of all sort of unthought-of thoughts. And you tend to get worried and upset over the most absurd things possible.
In the spirit of my relatively depressive mood today, I’ve spent a lot of time searching for some info on a long awaited few days trip (still not sure it will happen, but what else is new?) and blog-surfing and realized: the summer is almost over. “It’s only the beginning of August” you’ll say, but time goes by sooo/too fast.
It seems like only yesterday the Snowdrops were blooming announcing the long awaited Spring.
I can already imagine the park’s walkways filled with orange/red/yellow/brown leaves, the pale sun forcing me to put on a jacket and a scarf before leaving the house, umbrellas occasionally poking someone’s eyes out, shorter days, gloved hands and frozen noses, intense blue sky and then, inevitably, the smell of winter in the air.
Mixed feelings… On one part I’m excited (maybe this year there will be snow more than 3 times), and on the other hand I realize how fast another spring and summer have passed with no real plans, no good changes, no life altering events, yet another amount of time spent waiting and thriving for something better… and even though I know I’m living it, I wonder: when will I finally feel that my life is going to start?
2009, March 3
Sometimes you have to live life one letter at a time
Sincerely I expected little from the “PS: I love you” movie, and I had been disinclined to see it at first, especially because I know how it’s impossible to capture everything that’s important in the more than 500 pages long book when the movie is only about 120 minutes.
But because a friend of mine said it was great I decided to see it anyway (sometime last year, but it has only now occurred to me that it would be nice to write about it… probably because I’m bored out of my mind). :)
I must admit that it is an interesting story, and points to some good since it remains fairly true to the novel… but I like the book much more than I did the movie! Mostly because of all the differences that could’ve been avoided since it’s an adaptation to the novel not the other way around…
I’ve read it in Hungarian… yet I’d love to buy the English version because a lot can be lost in translation as well. Although I didn’t find it in the book shops here (and didn’t look for it too much eighter since I have read it so it’s not urgent), I’ll probably order it online until my birthday, as a special gift to myself :)
The main character “Set in Ireland, Holly Kennedy is beautiful, smart and married to the love of her life – a passionate, funny and impetuous Irishman named Gerry. So when Gerry’s life is taken by an illness, it takes the life out of Holly. The only one who can help her is the person who is no longer there. Nobody knows Holly better than Gerry, so it’s a good thing he planned ahead. Before he died, Gerry wrote Holly a series of 10 letters that will guide her, not only through her grief but in rediscovering herself. The messages are Gerry’s way of informing Holly life goes on. The messages include various tasks and treats Gerry has left for Holly. This is his way of letting her know he will always be there for her. Each letter sends her on a new adventure and each signs off in the same way: “P.S. I Love You.” Holly’s mother and best friends, Sharon and Denise, begin to worry that Gerry’s letters are keeping Holly tied to the past, but, in fact, each letter is pushing her further into a new future. With Gerry’s words as her guide, Holly embarks on a journey of rediscovery in a story about marriage, friendship and how a love so strong can turn the finality of death into new beginning for life.” (the Wikipedia plot summary is great so I used that)
I loved the novel because I believe it’s a story that transcends the sentimental and goes much further as Holly’s history can be transferred to any kind of separation or loss. There is no way to explain when someone you love is not with you physically, you know that they won’t be next to you ever again, yet you still love them unconditionally. It’s also strange how it’s a part of your life and you don’t want anything to change that… and it won’t, but you have to let go sometime…
“PS: I love you” is a novel with a good background, that makes you think as it’s full of emotions and while reading it, like with any good book, you go to another world, look at life from another perspective. There are some notes of humor and yet again it’s about the mourn, as well as the struggle to find happiness.
And isn’t that what we all want?
Just to be happy… possibly with what we’ve got, before it’s taken away from us…
PS: I love you Sweetheart :*:P