Posts tagged ‘relationship’

2009, September 27

Saying “I love you” differently

A simple gesture, a caring look, a smile… they can all say how much you love them and how your relationship is real. You don’t always need to only say the words to assure your partner of your feelings for them.

So here’s a post for the girls ;)

(Sure guys, you can take up on the advice too! Safe to say, no one would mind.)

  • Anticipate his needs –> Does “Give him what he wants before he asks for it” sound familiar? Try to anticipate his needs, because if you think about it, there are many things that you can do without becoming a slave. Things like if you know he likes waking up to the smell of a fresh hot cup of coffee, or eating his favorite food if he’s sad or upset, etc. He’ll surely appreciate it!
  • Make compliments –> it’s been researched, proven and “case closed”: men like to be given compliments and tapped on the shoulder when they do something right. If he took up some sport, tell him how much you like that he’s in shape. If he cleaned up (with or without previous complaints from you) tell him how helpful he is. It works like a charm!
  • Call him -> even if you don’t have the itinerary, shopping list, etc. to talk over with him. It will remind both of you of the time you were first dating and couldn’t wait to hear each other’s voice. Also a nice idea is to leave him a surprise note (in his jacket, pants pocket, on the PC monitor, etc.). A cute message like “Who’s the best boyfriend in the world?” can help start his day with a smile on his face and it works miracles for your relationship!

There are many things you can do that don’t require a magic wand, but can make your loved one really feel that his needs are important to you.

So girls, do you do these things? What other ideas do you have? Please feel free to share ;)

2009, September 25

Holding hands forever

It happened last week on a day when I was coming home with the bus and I was in quite a bad mood since it was hot in there, more people than I like to be around in a confined space, smelly and to top it off… I had to stand in one foot through the whole journey since I didn’t have anywhere else to place it except on someone else’s foot.

I thought it would be different this time, but I definitely remembered yet again why I hate public transportation and why (aside from being much more healthy) I’d rather walk, even for miles and in the cold as an alternative to this.

Okay, that’s out of my system, now back to my original thought.

I was on my way home with the mood I just described when I saw a couple holding hands.

Nothing unusual you’d say.

Except for the fact that the couple wasn’t at it’s first love’s daydreams, they weren’t teenagers or even middle aged, but an old couple, probably grandparents, surely over the age of 65. And…

Seeing them holding hands and making the most of that loving feeling we all want in and throughout our lifetime made me feel so much better!

 

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2009, September 17

Will you be mine? by Estrella Azul

“ He felt nervous.
This has been on his mind for the last 3 weeks, if not more, and he just wanted it to be perfect, or as close to perfect as he could get.
Counting down the days his nervousness grew.

At night he was dreaming of various scenarios it would go by and all of them had some flaw he didn’t think of before and made him more worried.
More possibilities ran across his mind like if it had rained and he wasn’t ready he didn’t have anything romantic planned.
Should he take her to dinner and ask her there?
Have his friend help him and decorate the room for when they get home?
Should he do it somewhere else instead of the lake but still outdoors?
Or visit the high school where they met and do it there?

Finally Wednesday arrived, the day of their anniversary. The beauty of it was that it wasn’t a round number like 1 year, 2 years so they’d celebrate luxuriously.
She couldn’t have figured out his intentions too easily.

They made plans to take a walk by the lake and catch a movie afterwards.
His plans however were a bit different.

While prepping to go he looked at his girlfriend getting ready.

She looked beautiful!
Her long amazing hair arranged very simple reminded him of the first day he saw her, her way of applying make-up and still look sweet and natural, her semi-formal outfit were all perfect for the occasion, but he couldn’t tell her yet.

They left for the lake.
To hide the ring he told her he was bringing two phones and made sure she wouldn’t ask any questions about his pocket by making his speech very short and technical.

By the time they got to the lake he had his eye on his watch just to be sure they have enough time.
He knew he would have his work cut out for him as they went past the peer.

He asked is she wanted to go for a ride with the paddle boat.
The water was deep, she was afraid a bit, but her confidence in him made her accept.
He was now thrilled and more nervous than before.

They got into the paddle boat and paddled away, going along the edge of the lake, then when his girlfriend was comfortable with the ride he aimed the center of the lake.
There, he stopped and they enjoyed the view.
Asking her to take photos, while she turned away, he took the ring out of his pocket and waited for her to turn back.

Those few seconds passed even slower than the hole time he had spent planning the proposal.

When she turned back facing him and saw the ring:
everything made even more sense to him than before, her shock and happiness was glowing on her face, he remained speechless.

After a moment he regained his thinking and while placing the ring on her finger asked her the question they were both waiting for… for so long:

“Will you be mine?”

As she said:

“Yes!”

He realized how truly blessed he was. His happiness couldn’t even been described as they sat there hugging and kissing.

After taking her to dinner and watching a romantic movie, on the way home they stopped again for a few moments at the lake and stared into the dark waves.

He did it: managed to turn that day into one of the most perfect and romantic ones they had.

She couldn’t have imagined a more beautiful and meaningful proposal!  

In the morning after the proposal, he got this letter from his fiancée.

 

“Sweetheart!

I know how good we are together, I know how unbelievably lucky we are to have found each other, how we still love each other as much as we did in the beginning and every time we say "I love you!" we actually mean it, and that we worked out how to be together. I know how fortunate we are to both want the same things, and most importantly – each other. I know we both get crazy sometimes but ultimately we have the best thing going and I want to say: ‘I want to keep this’.

I believe that you and I will do all the things we want to do together. I believe that in a while from now we’ll have our own remodeled house, our own children (in time) and our own individual lives in many ways too. I believe that we will be our own family.
I don’t believe in big weddings, or rather, I don’t think that they’re an accurate reflection of what it’s all about. What I want is the promise, the rings on our fingers and the future. I’m delighted because this is the nicest feeling in the world: to love you so much that I want to do something apparently quite random, just because I can’t help thinking that surely there must be some big way to express the way I feel about you, and about us, and our intentions. Getting engaged and married is about choosing to be tied together just in order to be together even homeless, childless or otherwise.

I believe that I can promise to love you until the day I die. And I believe that, if we can work out together what it means to us, making a promise and a commitment to one another can only strengthen the incredible bond we already have.

So… since I believe all this can and will happen, all I have to say is: Yes, Sweetheart! :*:P

I love you, always had and always will!” :*:P

He felt good, happy and more in love with her as he would’ve imagined 3 years, 9 moths and 1 day ago.”

 

Based on a true story.

2009, September 17

Picking out the engagement ring: together or not?

 


This is an old blog post. The story is now a distant, beautiful memory.




As a girl, I can only say picking out your own engagement ring or being surprised with it isn’t a good statement as a general rule. I really think it depends on the couple.
If they are comfortable with choosing a ring together than it’s their decision and no one can/nor should change their mind.
The engagement is all about a couple’s love for one another,
wanting to spend the rest of their life together, with or without an engagement ring, picked out together or being surprised with it.

On a more personal note, I have picked out my own engagement ring.
It was supposed to be a surprise, my Sweetheart knew I really liked a ring I have saved a photo of ages ago (he found it) and he tried to have it custom made for me.
The jeweler assured him he could do it, but when it was done… it really wasn’t anything like the photo. He didn’t like it, so just to make sure, he showed me a photo of it and I didn’t like it either. Thank goodness he could return it.
So one day when we went for a walk he surprised me by taking me ring shopping. We had fun, we both stated our opinion and chose accordingly.
He could’ve just given me the money so I could buy whatever I wanted, but I was very happy to be able to see how he imagined it, and share this moment with him.
I’m not a material person, I don’t see price tags when I look at anything I own, on presents I got, etc. and I most certainly didn’t want him to buy an expensive ring (although he wanted to buy a diamond ring at first).
Finally we ended up buying a very nice white gold Cubic Zirconia ring. I love it so much!
I’m happy to have found such a beautiful ring, stating his love for me, as the symbol of being engaged since this is the custom. Although I chose a slightly (more) unconventional ring. We love it, that’s what’s important!

I don’t know about anyone else, I can only speak in my own name when I say this, but I was very happy he showed me the first ring so I could tell him I didn’t like it. Going ring shopping together was amazing, I didn’t know before how much attentive he was to the details of it, how much effort he had put in it and how much my opinion mattered. He genuinely wanted me to be happy with it.
I will wear the ring we bought close to forever. I love it and won’t stop wearing it just because we’re married, I’ll just place it on another finger.

So as a note for couples: do what best suits your relationship! You are the only two people who know what would be best!

The engagement isn’t about picking out a ring (together or not), that’s just one part of the engagement.

This post was inspired by this article on Pillowchats.com the content of it being from my comments there. I felt strongly about sharing my opinion here too.

What’s your opinion? Would you like to be surprised or go ring shopping together? (Or what would’ve you liked?) Feel free to share.

2009, August 14

Relationship “don’ts”

It’s been quite a while since I’ve written about relationships. I have no idea why I didn’t, I guess other things just felt more like worth mentioning and lots of posts rushed to publishing before this topic. But after thinking about the things I wanted to write down before I forgot them, a very nice post about relationships and arguments was born.

So here it is, a list of relationship and relationship argument “don’ts”.

  • Don’t base your relationship and attitude on silence. There’s nothing worse than keeping things bottled up for a later time to burst out. And they DO burst out at some point, so why not avoid that altogether?
  • Don’t bend the truth or hide behind lies. They’re like a time bomb waiting for the absolute worst moment to explode.
  • Don’t involve relatives, friends, neighbors into your relationship. They have no say in your life and won’t ever be able to understand it, because it’s something you and your loved one share. You’re the only 2 people who make it work.
  • Don’t jump to conclusions and don’t be selective about things.
  • Don’t judge something before talking it through with your partner. Don’t assume, ask to know all the facts before you make up your mind.
  • Don’t try to convince your loved one of anything, learn to understand him.
  • Don’t use past tense about your relationship. The present and future are the most important!
  • Don’t focus on insignificant things, try to resolve the big and more important issues.
  • Don’t let minor differences take over your arguments, focus on easing hurt feelings.
  • Don’t say “You are…”, replace them with “I feel like…”, “I think…”
  • Don’t let both of you get angry at the same time.
  • Don’t yell at each other unless the house is on fire, and even then it’s best not to freak each other out, be calm at all times.
  • Don’t criticize. But if you really need to, try sweetening it up.
  • Don’t forget, it takes two to cause an argument.
  • Don’t neglect each other.
  • Don’t go to bed without resolving your conflict.
  • Don’t be cocky and if you were wrong, admit it and say “Sorry”
  • Don’t forget to talk about other things than having to pay the bills, buying milk, etc. Even one nice word can go a long way! (But do use more than one nice word)

There you go :) This is just one string of thoughts of course, there are many more “don’ts”. But keeping mind even on these will make your relationship all the more functional.

Also, I found this great post on the Happiness Project blog that teaches/helps us to fight right. From Gretchen Rubin’s list some of the phrases I use(d) and will try using more are:

Wait, can I take that back?
I see you’re in a tough position.
I could be wrong.
Let’s take a break for a few minutes. [If you can remember to do this, it’s extremely effective – especially if you’re having a big fight. After a break, it’s almost impossible to go back to yelling.]
That came out all wrong.

Do you make sure you keep these “don’ts” and “fight right” helping phrases in mind at all times?

Later update: You can also find my post about “Relationship don’ts” right here on Pillowchats.com

2009, June 10

What a girl wants…

I’ve read a very nice post these days and loved it so much I thought I’d share it with you. In many many cases I believe these to be true, so guys read carefully and remember ;) What a girl really wants…

" When she answers "I’m fine" after you ask if she’s okay, she really wants you to embrace her and kiss her forehead and tell her everything is going to be okay and when she’s ready to talk, you’ll be there to listen.

When you overhear her crying, she really wants you to come to her and hold her silently while she sobs into your chest.
When she’s mad at you and she walks away, she really wants you to follow her just to make sure she’s alright and to let her know you do care.
When you’re hurting, she wants you to come to her and tell her what it is that hurt you and what she can do, if anything, to help.
When she’s watching television with you and her favorite show comes on, she wants you to ask her if she wants you to watch it with her.
When she’s watching television with you and her favorite show comes on, she really doesn’t mind if you Tivo it because she’ll watch your show with you if you like.
When she says "I would like you to come with me, but you don’t have to," she really wants you to come, but she wants it to be because you want to, not because she asked.
When she comes to you crying and says she is scared, she wants you to protect her from whatever it is that is scaring her.
When she looks at you with bedroom eyes, she wants you to take her and do with her whatever you like.
But most of all, when she tells you she loves you, she wants you to believe it and know it because deep inside, all she really wants…
…  is you."
2009, February 16

Valentine’s Day

I won’t write about how people came to celebrate the 14th of February as Valentine’s Day (you can find out the history behind it if you’re interested, by clicking the link). I just wanna share with you that I like it!S7003327-1

Not because this time of year all blogs start posting all sort of articles about how nice or bad it is (just like around any other holidays too :P), not because people in relationships exchange gifts, not because people who are not in a relationship get possessed by the thought of having to spend Valentine’s Day alone and immediately start seeking someone to be with for a few days just so they won’t be judged by anyone (this is a really stupid thing, I don’t get it…), not because all the shop windows, malls and so on, are filled with tonnes of little (or even exaggeratedly big) hearts, doves, Cupids, etc., not because of how on the actual day you can’t find a parking space and you bump into more people than usually, not because of the stupid mass messages filling your screen in a few seconds saying that if you don’t send them on you’ll be alone forever (get a life!!!) and not because of how expensive everything gets almost over night…

I like it because it’s a celebration of LOVE! Anyone can celebrate it even if their single or in a relationship, celebrate with family, friends and loved ones, it’s not a written rule that it can only be celebrated by couples (that’s just a stupid excuse to don’t like it).
I think it should be considered to be another good chance to thank the people we love for being there for us, for their patience, help, kind words. Because let’s face it, nobody remembers to appreciate the people around them all the time, or too often for that matter, they mostly do it on big international holidays… so why not on Valentine’s Day too? :)

I’m lucky to be able to celebrate my love for and with my Sweetheart each and every day, I am grateful that even after 3 years and 2 months we still say "I love you!" each morning when we wake up, during the day, and at night before we go to sleep. We try to make any day a great day, surprise each other from time to time with and e-card, a flower, chocolate, etc. and we succeed to don’t get into a dull routine :)
This Valentine’s Day we got each other small but significant gifts, even though I specifically said "No flowers this year", I got a very beautiful rose from my Sweetheart, and we went to see a movie ("Bride wars", it’s great, I recommend it to anyone who likes comedies) and had dinner, and overall it really was the lovely and romantic day I was looking forward to.
Thank you for this beautiful day Sweetheart, for the presents, and for the beautiful rose I got! And also happy 3 years and 2 months anniversary too! I love you :*:P

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