Posts tagged ‘thoughts’

2017, July 7

Dear Friday, 7.July.2017

seriously? 26 Celsius when I went for my run at 10PM? You need to work on that…

2017, April 28

Dear Friday, 28.April.2017

this week was rough from the beginning. How about we make it a relaxing weekend, please?


2017, March 3

I once dreamed of…

I once dreamed of a big white wedding.

read more »

2017, February 10

A couple of thoughts

Years ago, I mentioned five things that I will not write about on my blog, and I don’t intend to change that any time soon.
Today however, I will ever-so-lightly touch on the subject of politics by expressing a few opinions prompted by the protests taking over the main squares of major Romanian cities, which are categorized as the largest demonstrations nationwide since the fall of communism in 1989.

Smartphones light up the night sky. Image copyright

Smartphones light up the night sky.
Image copyright Dan Mihai Balanescu

This is my favorite moment from the protest. In case you don’t read/haven’t seen it when reading world news stories, this is when on Sunday, people used their smartphone torches to illuminate the night sky. So beautiful!
Now on to my opinions.
The protests are legitimate, I believe, but so many of the people out there have not actually read the law in question or know much about why they’re out there protesting.
We live in the Facebook era when anyone can make a public event and invite people, who invite more people, who invite more people. We live in a time in history when it’s trendy to show up, and even trendier to check in at protest locations on one’s social media profiles. I really believe that is one of the main reasons for the amount of protesters.
In a slightly different form, this law was under consideration in 2013/2014. There were very few people out in the streets protesting back then. Where were all these 250000 protesters from Bucharest then? Let alone the half a million from all over the country?
There was someone on TV the other weekend talking about the children’s demonstration. He said, and I agree, that if the parents explained to the kids why they were there, it was a very good, live lesson in civic engagement, about democracy and wanting to make a difference. If said parents were cautious, I believe that it was a good idea.
However, for the past ten days, so many parents went, and took their kids under 15 with them to the evening protests. Sure, it is their personal choice to stay out there with them until midnight, yet I can not see it as being a wise and safe one.
And kinda lastly, I like the fact that the protesters are not causing any incidents and leave the squares clean.
But I have to wonder why is it that our news channels here make such a big deal out of it? What is fundamentally wrong if this is news worthy? How are Romanians overall perceived in the world, if this is portrayed as such a big surprise?
And why are people not behaving the same way when they gather for a concert, for a football game (several games have been played without supporters in the pews as the threat of incidents was too high, or several games have been stopped because supporters were throwing stuff onto the field), or any other public event, or even when simply living and walking the streets?
The clean and incident-free protests, to me, prove that it could be the same way 90% of the time instead of only now during the protests.
PS: this little blog of mine turned 8 yesterday. What better way to celebrate, than do exactly what I set out to when I first started it, and express my opinion? ;)
2016, September 16

Expressing love

I’ve been in relationships where “I love you” was said every day. Or even several times per day. In ones where it was seldom said. And I’ve been in relationships where “I love you” was said too soon. Each of these situations has its own positives and negatives.

But you know what? Sometimes, you don’t really need those exact words to feel the love projected your way.

page more love letters

Love might come in the form of:

  • a caramel latte made every morning
  • asking ‘are you OK?’
  • being driven to work and then back home each day
  • saying ‘thank you’
  • finding us-time
  • watching movies/series together
  • annual Elder Flower Picking Day
  • having friends over when you don’t feel like going out
  • making tea
  • cuddling
  • going out of the way for something
  • road trips
  • funny names and titles
  • two art pieces on the wall
  • taking off one’s shoes as soon as walking in the door because they know you’ve cleaned the house
  • cooking together
  • being supportive
  • listening
  • cooking for one’s partner, or their family and friends
  • being OK with the tea collection taking over cabinet space
  • caring about what the other partner thinks, feels like
  • massages
  • a simple gesture
  • a hug
  • a caring look
  • a smile
  • guarding the plants from the cat
  • reading, while they watch the game
  • riding bikes together
  • holding hands in public
  • holding hands in the summer when it’s too hot to cuddle on the sofa
  • a photo on the fridge
  • checking that the alarm is set for the morning
  • going biking together
  • chatting while at work, too
  • taking care of each other in sickness
  • a note on the fridge
  • reading the partner’s creative writing
  • sharing about work
  • helping with studying
  • doing things separately, too.

What do you think? And what have you observed? How many other ways does love come in, aside from saying those three words?

2016, July 22

Love, in so many different ways

I’ve talked about love before. I’ve defined it before. More than once. I still believe that. And I could still talk about it. A lot. But I will spare you, and leave you with only a couple of thoughts.

A friend of mine said that she doesn’t believe in falling in love, that people can only care for each other and be together out of necessity after the age of 25.
I strongly disagree with her theory, but I do see something resembling this happening a lot more today. I will give her that.
So many people are only in relationships (or worse, marriages) for self-serving reasons. For the money, for the status and all the other perks, for the wish of not being alone, of not being single parents, and so on.

So, can we fall in love after the age of 25? Heck, Yes!

Do we truly love only once in our lifetime? I don’t think so.

However, in the past few years, after going through a lot of ups and downs and different relationships, I realized something important. We love every partner slightly, or greatly, differently.

It’s one kind of love, when we’re in high school and our biggest problems are having a curfew or choosing the right university. It’s another kind of love when we move out of our parents’ house, we discover who we’re shaping up to be, we have room/flat mates, classes at uni all day, and know full well that after the final exams are done, we’re relocating and our partner will be left behind.
And it’s a different kind of love once we start working full-time, maybe even more than one job, and try to make ends meet. It’s definitely another kind of love when we live together, go through grief, changing jobs, illness, caring for family and other difficulties together.
There is also a lot of joy all the while going through all of these different types of relationships. I’m not contesting the effort, and the love we pour into each relationship.

So if you really think about it, how could we really love everyone exactly the same way if we ourselves are continuously changing and evolving?

The “trick” is to recognize this and not avoid telling people we love them, only because we think we should feel in a way that fits into a nice and comfy, previously experienced mold.

2016, May 13

My thoughts on seeing one’s ex at an event

As I was searching for wedding-related hair/dress/survival guide ideas for a wedding we’ll attend later this year, I came across this article. The first lines of the article say “Post break-up, you’re bound to get it: The dreaded invite to the party/picnic/wedding where you know your ex will be. But instead of viewing it like the sequel to “Doomsday,” start prepping for it like a big red carpet event.” My mind immediately started screaming “No, No, No. No!”

I read on, curious to see the rest of the advice listed in the article and kept shaking my head in disagreement. Especially since some of the suggestions are quite good, but not the way the author spins them. Also, I suspect it’s a semi-sponsored article, since the author keeps suggesting stuff to buy, like that “red carpet dress”. So, I decided to share with you the list of suggestions and my thoughts on them. I will wait patiently while you go read the original article for comparison.

  • Splurge on a new dress – I agree that you shouldn’t show up in PJs and can splurge on a new dress if you have the means to, or wear your prettiest dress that you feel excellent in!
    However, the reason for this should not be driven by what your ex thinks, liked on you or color he hates. You should feel good in what you’re wearing, all the time and regardless of your ex being there or not, let alone in a fancier setting like a wedding.
  • Bring a wingman – I mostly agree with this, it doesn’t really matter what the event is, of course it’s always more fun if you go with someone, especially if you might not know too many people there. Like the article says, sure, if you don’t feel like taking a date then take a platonic guy or girl friend.
    Not for your ex’s benefit/to make them jealous/to show off though!
  • Get your hair/nails/makeup did – The take-away from this suggestion in the article is to not look like you tried too hard, and if your ex never saw you with makeup before, don’t show up sporting false lashes and siren red lipstick.
    I think you should never look like you’ve tried too hard, not only when you might run into an ex. And I strongly disagree with that second part about makeup. On the one hand, you shouldn’t care if your ex never saw you wearing makeup before, and on the other hand: people change!
    Personally I only wore makeup occasionally during high school and uni years. I honestly wore little to no makeup up until two years ago, when I started working in an office setting. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a fan of the minimalist style and most likely won’t wear false lashes to any event, but I do enjoy a darker lip color on occasion. So why we are told not to wear that only because our ex might be at an event and never saw us wearing such makeup is beyond me!
  • Wear your signature fragrance – In the article, this suggestion bluntly comes off as advice on how to bring back memories in your ex of fancy dinners you guys went on, of borrowing their shirt and giving it back smelling like you, of just you.
    While I agree that wearing your signature fragrance is fun because you love it, that’s why it’s your signature fragrance, I don’t agree with only wearing it/wearing it in excess only to bring up memories in your ex. They will remember the past just by seeing you anyway.
  • Take care of the areas he will never even see – Even the sentence in the article starts with “this might seem counter-intuitive.” So, really?
    Yes, of course, take care of the areas the ex or anyone else other than your current partner will see, but do it for yourself! You have to be the one who feels good in their skin so never think about this stuff as being something that you do for your partner’s benefit, or worse, for your ex’s benefit.
  • Have a drink… but not five – OK, this is one of the very few points in the article that I fully agree with.
    May I add though, that I think one should never go past their measure, regardless of their ex being at the event or not.
  • Give your friends talking points – The suggestion here is to tell friends to drop hints or work info about you into the conversation, so you’re not the one bragging about that new job, huge apartment or awesome vacation you’re taking. They end the paragraph with the question “well, better from her lips than yours, right?”
    Well, this is just a flat out “NO!” in my opinion. Unless specifically asked for advice, friends, either mutual or not, should not be involved with what is/was between the two of you.
    If you’re having a genuine conversation with friends and the ex is part of that conversation (or overhears it) sure, it’s not like that information is classified. However, if you’re manipulating the conversation into that direction, that is not OK. Both you and your friends should be mindful of what you say to an ex.
    If exes want to find out something about you, they will ask. If they don’t, they’re either too uncomfortable or are simply over you and don’t care to know. You can tell which of these two when you ask them about how they are doing. There is no need to over-share.
  • Be gracious – I do agree with this point. Don’t let your ex hear about grudges you hold, or names you’ve called them. It’s always helpful to have some easy conversation topics in mind so you don’t run into rehashing old things. Make your time with them short, sweet and gracious, and don’t monopolize their time over the course of the evening (ie. if both of you smoke, don’t time every single cigarette “break” at the same time with theirs).
  • Hit the dance floor (but not the karaoke machine) – I agree with this as well. Your every single action shouldn’t revolve around your ex’s presence in the room. Don’t fake it or over do it, don’t stay on the dance floor all night long if that is not who you normally are. Be yourself and have fun!
  • Make a perfectly timed exit –  I agree that you don’t have to stay until the end of the night just because your ex does. Unless you do actually have other plans/obligations, you probably shouldn’t be rude to your hosts and run out before the main course is served.
    However, my advice is to stay for as little or as long as you feel the need to! You’re the only one who knows how much fun you’re having, and it should not depend on your ex’s actions/presence there.

Now, this is just my two cents, I am not calling myself an expert on relationships. So now I have to ask you, what do you think about the points above?

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